I am closing my laptop and it won't be opened for several days. Tomorrow is the last night with the fam. We are having fried chicken for dinner (which, for those of you who aren't dutch, means lunch after church), which is the tradition. Monday, Jeff, Mom, cousin David, Ian and I are driving to Chicago and the surrounding area to drop off David at his house (he spent the week with us) and then for me to fly off to see the world! If God is gracious to see it through, I will land in Poland, then Vilnius, Lithuania's capitol. We will spend three days and two nights there before we head to Klaipeda when we will start school! I don't plan to open it until I get settled in my dorm, so I'm sure there will be a good, long, interesting post at that point :)

Please please be praying for me and my family and ian! I think there will be a lot of overall sadness, if excitement, about the whole thing. Also, travel, aslo that my bags don't pop open with all their contents! I haven't weighed them yet, so we may have a moment of truth...

5Days?REallyWhat!!?

I know, so many posts and I haven't even left! But I'm thinking about it so much that I feel like I just need to leave so it can be happening NOW! And yet, of course -- here comes the paradox -- I wish I had a thousand days to say good byes and end on happy notes with all those I love. No matter what, I will always want more time to make precious with the people I don't want to leave.

Things floating through my mind:
What do I still need to get?
How am I going to fit all this in one 50-lb bag!!?
Do I really need _______?
HOw many days?
Do I need this in the next 5 days, or can I pack it now? (If the item is body wash, the answer is YES you need it!)

ALso, a friendly reminder for those who may care: Coffee isn't the perfect complimentary drink to an empty stomach, especially when you're trying to refrain from being in a panic!

Visa arrived!

Funny story. To apply for my visa, I had to send in my passport with a self-addressed envelope. So about two weeks after I sent my whole application in, I got my passport back. I let out a huge sigh of relief, because honestly, I was really nervous about having my passport out in the postal system. But, I was still waiting for my visa to come in the mail. I had no idea what it would be or look like. Maybe a slip of paper, or a little booklet, like a passport. Maybe a little ID card type of thing. I was starting to get nervous because I'm leaving in about 11 days (what!!?) and it still hadn't come in the mail. So, I e-mailed Natalija, who is my correspondant at LCC, and asked if she had access to some contact info about where my visa was in the world at that point. She asked if I had got my passport back. I said yes. She said, "your visa should be glued to one of the pages in the passport."

Wow, what a dork. I was waiting and waiting, and if I hadn't asked, I would have had a fit of nerves because I thought I didn't have my visa, when really I had it all along. My mom said, "that would make a great object lesson!" (She's all about object lessons.) So, make of it what you may, I got my visa!!

And I leave in 11 days. Oh my stars.

19 days to go...

Things on my mind:

packing list
where is my visa?
Lithuania?
State fair! Tips!
dreading good-byes...

today my dad said, "you'll be the first person in our family who has a visa! I'd like to see it."

The Place

So, I realized that some people may have no idea where Lithuania is. I know I didn't when I decided I wanted to go there. I wasn't even sure it was real. So to give you a better picture of where I'll be, I'll share a picture!

This is Europe:


Lithuania one of the three Baltic States, along with Latvia and Estonia, which are right above it. If you know where Norway and Sweeden are, hanging off the top of Europe, and look to the right, you'll see the Baltic Sea, across which are the Baltic States. Lithuania is on the bottom.

Now, for a close up on Lithuania:


When I arrive, I'll be in the capital, Vinius, for a few days, then we will head over to the west coast to the city of Klaipeda. No, I don't know how to say it yet.

Lithuanian Christian College is here in the city of Klaipeda, indicated by a lovely purple arrow...:


Well, that's where I'll be! I'll write soon with some other things I've learned in the process of preparing myself for life in Klaipeda! I'll give you some sneak peaks:

-Americans are LOUD!
-Lithuanian was the first Indo-European language. (For all my fellow grammar/language geeks :) )
-My Christian college has a designated smoking area

I have to quickly share a fear that I hope is unfounded, but I'll have to let you know. I'm terrified that I will hate Lithuanian food. It's on my list of things to look up, but I just get this feeling I'll be uncomfortable every meal time. I've always been a picky eater, and it's always been a problem, but in Lithuania, it could cause more trouble than it does in America. Hopefully I'll be proved wrong!

ISIC, Visa, Doubt

WELL, I've been e-mailing back and forth with Natalija in Lithuania who has been patient with all my questions and short-comings concerning international travel. I have been getting more and more nervous with the daunting instructions about ordering an International Student Identification Card (ISIC) and getting things notarized and sending my passport across the country. I was very nervous that I wouldn't have things done in time, or wouldn't get my ISIC in the mail before I needed to send a copy of it to blah-blah-blah...

BUT I got my card in the mail on Saturday, got all the necessary stuff notarized Monday, and sent everything out Monday as well. I'm a little on edge about my passport being untrackable in the mail, but some things we just have to leave in the Postal Service's hands. I would have good reason to worry if it wasn't the US Postal Service, but since we are in the US, I think my identity is safe.

MONDAY night, after I sent in my completed Visa application, I had my first round of serious doubt about this trip. Up until then, I was realistic about knowing that I'd be missing stuff at home, but still being healthily excited to have this opportunity. Sunday, for whatever reason, I was thinking about how my friends like to come up with new phrases, and how we can create about 60 memories in 20 minutes. I relish every moment with each of them. I thought about coming back in the Spring to live with Emily, who would have already lived a semester at our House with Olivia and Joy, and gotten into the groove of things, and how it might be frustrating to her to suddenly have a new roomate, even though we've been planning this for a year. I thought about the plays, about how I kind of wish I could Stage Manage Arsenic and Old Lace, and even how I might kinda sorta miss set building. But only a little bit.

AND that's only at school. Being even further away from my brothers, who can hardly hold a meaningful conversation one time zone away, least of all 6.

WHAT if Ian and I can't make it?

I'M essentially over my doubts of Monday night, but I think I'll have little doubting spells all summer. Is it weird that the main reason I reminded myself I needed to go was that we had already spent money on the plane tickets, I have this ISIC card with my photo on it, and I just sent in my Visa application? Why was I not reminded that Ian and Emily are committed and beautiful people, and that my brothers are growing and maturing (slowly but surely... OK, very slowly), and that I will have many more opportunities to work hard at theatre? Or even, why was I not comforted that God is in control of all of these doubts and fears of mine? I know all of these things to be true. Maybe they weren't what comforted me, though, because they would have seemed insubstantial.

MAYBE the money that had already been put into this trip was the only tangible way for me to understand that I DON'T know what's going to happen, but it's out of my control, and that's ok. That's good. I don't really like to think of money as a good thing, but in a weird way, it lent itself to helping me see that while traveling is a risk and it's scary, it's not worth running away from ("worth" meaning both financially and experiencially). So thanks to Polish Airlines, ISIC and Visa for leading me towards fearless travel!