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Friday, December 9, 2011

one week left.

I am the kind of person who can’t wait to pack for a trip. My mom was always the one who would start packing five days before we left for a few days. My dad was the one who would start packing five minutes before bed the night before leaving, whether it was a two-day trip or a week-long trip. I tend to pack for weeks in advance. Not out of high-blood pressure or anxiety, I just love being ready to go. I hate that time between loads of laundry when you don’t want to wash all your clothes until you can put a few more days clothes in to make it worthwhile so you can pack. I love to think about the things I need to bring, and I love to pack it all in, find a way to make more room, take it all out and pack again. Luckily, I have refrained from doing that for my return trip home. Besides the fact that our dorms would not accommodate a loosely and wide-spread packed suitcase, I know it would simply make me more anxious to leave. I am in this tight place where I want to be home and be done with school work and see my wonderful family again, and I also can’t believe I’m leaving, and at times think, maybe if I throw a temper tantrum they won’t make me leave. In writing a reflection paper for our study abroad Cross-cultural Seminar class, I realized how many things I have learned, but have no words for, and I somehow feel that going home will make it even less likely to find the words. But without going home, I wouldn’t even realize all the things I’ve learned. So I want both things – Lithuania and Wisconsin. International community and diverse ethnic community. This is the curse and the blessing of Study Abroad Lithuania – it steals your heart and won’t give it back.

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